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Rules for humans in 2014

The following is a list of rules for humans living in 2014. While amusing, there is truth in the humor of each rule. These are of course my views, and not gospel. Making such a list is probably quite pretentious, and my behaviors may be on your list…but fuck off, make your own god damn list.

1. Your destination is not more important than mine, and vice versa. Cool it. How am I supposed to know that you’re driving like an asshole because you need to get to Wetzel Pretzel before they run out of free samples?

2. Selfies must stop. We (in my decaying mind, the general population has clearly appointed me their spokesperson) don’t need to see what your face, hair, and clothes look like every day. We’re happy that you own more than one shirt and that you hair can part to both sides, but we do not want or need to see them.

3. Eating healthy is a great idea. I do it as much as I can because I wish to remain living. However, what isn’t alright is being a high and mighty dickhead because your god damn kale wasn’t grown in a puppy mill. Eat what you want, but stop being a fuckface about it. And especially don’t tell me what to eat. A large number of these people exclusively buying organic things actually look to be quite malnourished and/or bloated; so I don’t need to be told by them that I eat incorrectly. I’ll eat what I want, you do the same.

4. We all have camera phones, but we are not all photographers. Take it easy, Ansel Adams.

5. Dress how you want to dress, not how the urban outfitters depicts the douchebags in their ads. When did it become cool to wear a tacky shirt, ugly pants, and moccasins? I’ll tell you when: when the assholes wearing them had the all money and started calling shots. Wear what you want. If you confidently wear something you feel strongly about, nothing could be cooler. Dressing like a blind Ace Ventura is not going to be a lasting fashion.

6. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you’re expert and therefore justified in dispensing advice and/or tips. There are things you know and do well, and there are things that you can simply just do well enough.

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Top 10 Favorite Movies

1. Goodfellas

2. Gangs of New York

3. Watchmen

4. Natural Born Killers

5. Star Wars (all of them)

6. Jackie Brown

7. The Godfather

8. Almost Famous

9. Blazing Saddles

10. Sin City

There are a few close ones that didn’t make the top 10:

Kill Bill (vol. 1 & 2)



V for Vendetta

I Am Sam

The Departed

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Think Progress: 10 Quotes From 2012


  1. “I think same sex couples should be able to get married.” — Barack Obama
  2. “If we had 51% women in Congress, do you think we’d be debating access to contraception?” — Sen. Kristen Gillibrand (D-NY)
  3. “Maybe 23 cents doesn’t sound like a lot to someone with a Swiss bank account.” — Lilly…

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I’m about to format my macbook, but I found this thing I wrote for a song I was working on a while ago so I figured I’d post it before I get rid of it.

It amazes me, the resilience of those with heart.
We can be stepped on and crushed by the ones we thought loved us back,
And yet, the very next day, we’re at it again, flooding our minds with forgiveness.
But the end result is creation, not of life, but of art.
To make something so beautiful out of something so very painful, is an age old miracle.
There is no love.
There is no death.
There is no god.
No love, no death, no god.
No love, no death, no god…without hurt.

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Apocalypse avoided, human race worse off

So the predicted (horse shit) end of the world didn’t happen. I can’t say I thought it was actually going to happen, but I’m a bit disappointed. Not that end didn’t come, but that in the days drawing near to the end, the human race seemed to be behaving worse than normal. A rise in violent crimes tells me that even with the threat of the world ending, humans could not live together. Rather than banding together in what could be our final stretch of time together, we engage in violent acts and disagreements as to what we deserve as humans and of course who gets the money. Not everyone is fighting and killing, but enough of them are that we only hear about the negative.
I for one think that we’re worse off having made it through a potential doomsday. Not only will nothing change, but the possible new sense of empowerment can make things worse. Thinking that what has been going on is the right way to do things is dangerous, and yet there are people who don’t see that what’s been happening is wrong.
What should happen? We should take inventory of what’s been happening and come to the logical conclusion of living together and doing what is right for the human race as a whole, not whats right for the people with the money.

Live together.

I’d also like to extend my deepest sympathies to the victims of the tragedy in Newtown, CT.

Love and light-